Sometimes we need those days of just driving around in the rain, in the cities that your best friends and you used to hangout in during high school
Sometimes we just need those moments of reflection, to just view your past situation from your latest viewpoint
I’ve been consciously trying not to reflect too much on the past, because I want to stay attune to the present moment, to my current self
As it is so easy to lose yourself in memories
But today I allowed myself to be fully immersed in those old times. Remembering old friends, late nights, lies I would tell my parents, and the places we would go. It is so funny to remember that version of ourselves and in what ways it developed us for the better.
I used to think there was something wrong with missing people and places that no longer suit you, but a wise friend (Dani) reminded me that missing something is not toxic, just remember to see it as it truly is. So, I vocalize that I miss many of the people and places that I have grown with, and oh my gosh it feels wonderful to be real about it. I definitely have days where I miss old versions of myself and wonder who I would be if I would have acted any differently.
But with that wonder, I am also so proud of who I have become. My past is my ally, that at the time unknowingly was shaping me to be prepared for my current situation.
We do not need to stay as the same person, or with the same situations because we love them dearly. We are allowed to love our fleeting moments and also our oncoming ones. We are allowed to shift like Tetris, have new shapes, find new spots to fit.
When I find that I need some time to reminisce, I go for a drive and listen to some Lumineers or The Head and The Heart (peep Rivers and Roads if you know me well enough). And I allow myself to be immersed in the emotion, the realness, the absence of what was. And then I get out of the car and embrace the beautiful life in current time. Sometimes we need a reminder it is okay to miss things, but don’t miss your current self in the process.
All the love,
Kristen
